It all started so confidently. Our decision to buy a
property abroad seemed entirely straightforward. Lots of people do it, so what
could possibly go wrong?
Jack, my husband, and I battled through a shortlist of
European countries in our price and travel range. Then we remembered another facet
– Jack’s temperament. Uh oh! None of
us are perfect, and certainly not me. However, I am, on the whole, a deal more
patient and far more tolerant than my husband. In fact, just about everyone is.
He also has an extremely tedious sense of humour, particularly when it comes to
dealing with other nationalities and their unique traits. This, combined with other,
more balanced, reasons, ruled out three of the main contenders and we settled
on France.
I produced a shortlist of properties to visit, which ended
up being quite tricky because of the type we wanted to buy. But, by plugging
away for ages, I got there in the end and planned our journey.
This presented another small challenge because I’m hopelessly
devoted to our dogs. At the time we had Sam and Biff. Jack tries to create the
impression of not sharing my devotion, grumping that he simply tolerates them.
But I know differently. He’s the same about all animals, soft as butter and regularly caught with a sheepish expression in mid-cuddle with one of
them. That said, when I shared my blindingly obvious logic that Sam and Biff should
travel with us, he failed to see my point – initially. Nevertheless, after a
slightly longer than usual filibuster, he came to his senses and all was agreed.
The eve of our departure finally came. Gosh, it still seems
like yesterday. We had spent much of the day packing the car, unpacking the
car, repacking and arguing about it. Bungee elastic cords became Jack’s friends
as bags and slippery items were strapped securely, leaving a perfectly safe
makeshift kennel for the dogs.
Many of you already know all this but, by way of a tiny
outtake, I can tell you that during the night I barely slept a wink. And why?
Because I was so excited. The other point I
didn’t mention was Jack’s pre-departure-check discovery that one of our tyres
was flat. Oh, and then there was Sam. Normally a dog with champion bowels, he chose
that very morning to produce a gusty sample of visceral fluid. I suppose this could
have been an omen of iffy things to come but, as I used my essential baby wipes
to clear up the offending area, I didn’t give it a second thought. Jack thought
differently, but Jack always does. After a delayed departure we set off in mizzling
weather, which matched his mood to a tee.
It’s no secret that our early adventures didn’t go to plan.
At all. Who would have believed that a
three week house-hunting trip could place us in such crazy situations,
including at least one that was life threatening? Such a thing had never
entered our minds. Nor did the prospect of meeting the many bizarre characters involved
in our quest. Then there were the properties themselves – ranging from
unacceptable, to appalling, and in one case, very scary indeed. Every day
brought a new misadventure, one of which caused Jack to remark, “You could
write a book about this.” So I did. There was such a lot to say.
I realise brevity is entirely alien to my writing and, let’s
face it, descriptions are my friends. My aim is for you, as closely as
possible, to live our experiences as we did, and to create accurate visions of
each key scene and main character.
Unsurprisingly, Fat Dogs and French Estates
Part I quickly spilled over into Part II.
More disasters, ever-stranger people, mechanical mishaps and
greater sinful canine shenanigans gave me oodles of material to share. Some of
it was toe-curlingly awful to recount, but there was a very clear theme
cementing itself on our hearts. Despite everything, we were falling ever more
in love with France.
Book II came to an unexpected conclusion and Fat
Dogs Part III brought with it a project we didn’t anticipate. Was it hard? At
times it was dreadfully hard. It formed the third natural piece of our
documentary jigsaw, one that many of you kindly asked for. And thank you so
much for making this such a success.
But that was by no means the end of the story. Meanwhile, and
entirely separate from the various challenges we were battling with, the
animal-loving side of me created a further chapter in my life. As an addition
to our two dogs, we’d acquired a cat – but more of that later. I began
indulging in chats about our cuddly feline with my pal, Zoe Marr. Rather than
gossiping idly about our respective moggies’ personalities and mishaps, we decided
to channel our energies into helping cats in need. Of course, that didn’t stop
the daily cat exchange, but that’s animal lovers for you.
Completely Cats was soon created. With it came the formation
of a wonderful relationship with International Cat Care, a worthy charity whose
missions on feline care and education are a perfect match for our aspirations.
We decided to publish a book of short stories about cats. This
way we could raise direct funds for the charity and spread the word about its
work. We appealed to cat-lovers to come forward with their tales, and they did
so in droves. Our project very quickly became a perfect example of teamwork.
Our book, Completely
Cats – Stories with Cattitude, could not have been created without their
contributions, or the support from our Facebook and Twitter friends. Many, many of
you have been part of this. You went the extra mile to help get our project going. You shouted about it on your own social media, encouraged us
with your comments and alerted your friends.
And they weren’t hollow words.
The book was published on the 21st August and with
your help it got off to a racing start with sales results speaking for
themselves. It was immediately listed as Amazon.com cat category #1 Hot New
Release, and in the same category shot to best seller #3 on Amazon.co.uk behind
James Bowen’s, A Street Cat Named Bob.
(We can live with that!) Our first 5* review came in three days later. Howzat for an example of teamwork in
action?
We are genuinely astonished and humbled by the kindness and
support we’ve had, and will never be able to thank people enough. International
Cat Care loves the book and is as thrilled by the response as we are. So,
whatever else I might find myself involved with, I shall always continue to
support and promote this cause.
But, in the back of my mind, there’s always that feeling.
It’s never far away. I’m dying to share
that fourth Fat Dogs piece of the jigsaw with you.
Fat Dogs and French Estates Part IV.
Of course Jack hates to admit that he’s become personally
absorbed in the process but, every now and again, he’ll say something like,
“Have you told them about xxx yet?” or, “Bloody hell, you’d better stick that
incident in the next book. They’ll never
believe it!” or, “And what about Bussiton? Have you written about him?” Well,
actually, I haven’t. But I’m planning to.
You might naturally assume our project concluded with an
idyllic retirement vision of beaches, deckchairs and fine French wines. Nothing
could be further from the truth. Those things continue to be the stuff of my
poor, long-suffering husband’s dreams, but they’re unlikely to arrive anytime
soon.
Now our Completely Cats project is padding around the Amazonian
vapours, I’m going to quietly sneak off to begin my next episode of our
adventures. Things happened that we never ever imagined. I mean, for goodness’ sake,
who would have guessed that I would
become a wannabe expert chainsaw operator, or a wild rabbit wrangler? Not me! Equally,
I had never dreamed of taking national French exams – in French. (Mind you,
that did turn out to be rather a nightmare.) And then the super Polish chaps we
ended up working with. Smashers, every one, but – really?
In order to start gambolling quickly I won’t be able to
bring you my usual yarn next month. Instead, I’m hoping to persuade one
of my author pals to share one of their blogs. If they agree I guarantee it’ll
be a great read.
Despite having to divert my efforts for a few weeks, I'll still be around, but I do need to focus for a bit. I sincerely hope Fat Dogs IV will justify the support you've already given me. Thank you so much for being part of our
French adventures so far. They just wouldn’t be the same without you, and now you’re
very much part of them.
